Rewind time now backwards steps in slow motion I pause… Its March 15,2009. The don’t know whats wrong with my daughter she has become a quadriplegic in just one week. Her vitals are failing no explanation. I pace back and forth. I wait for answers wonder why me? The rain taps on the ICU window here are shades of gray that I never seem to notice or could ever forget. My Lisa Rose how she withers and I am helpless. Monitors all beep and chirp as sounds of cycles ends. My heart breaks as the EKG reads her heart beats. No, rhythm or reason. I see doctors in the hall, residents and fellows cloud the sliding glass door. My pain is on display I inhale and tears fall down my cheek turn to them and shake my head. Now it is bowed in sorrow i offer prayer, to my knees I fall. They come in and request to speak with me. Charts are taken out scanned and checked I sigh. They say that a meeting will be held early on Friday morning at 9 am. They walk away no worries. I am sinking, falling apart, hands are shaking. I see my Rose still and quite sleep; morphine to numb a pain I will never know. Fast forward and cut moments fly by again I am caught looking out that window again dark cloud. They foreshadow days a head the story of Heathclif and Catherine on La Grange. It comforts me to know books my solace. The release of the imagination. I drift in and out of my classic literature and the phone rings. The voice on the end of the line is a woman aged with care; thought jovial in perception. She asked for medical insurance numbers, name and address. I willingly supply all of them. I ask. Why do you require such information? She told me it’s for radiation treatment……Cancer she exclaims. “I let the cat out of the bag!” I keep calm and cool and ask her for what kind????? Melanoma with hesitation in her voice. I feel as though I was Pandora and hope escapes me….. I can’t shut that box.
Lisa Rose has just turned 4 on March 3rd….. Some people get cake on their birthdays ,but she got cancer……….