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Rewind time now backwards steps in slow motion I pause…  Its March 15,2009.  The don’t know whats wrong with my daughter she has become a quadriplegic in just one week.  Her vitals are failing no explanation.  I pace back and forth.  I wait for answers wonder why me?  The rain taps on the ICU window here are shades of gray that I never seem to notice or could ever forget.  My Lisa Rose how she withers and I am helpless.  Monitors all beep and chirp as sounds of cycles ends.  My heart breaks as the EKG reads her heart beats.  No, rhythm or reason.  I see doctors in the hall, residents and fellows cloud the sliding glass door.  My pain is on display I inhale and tears fall down my cheek turn to them and shake my head.  Now it is bowed in sorrow i offer prayer, to my knees I fall.  They come in and request to speak with me.  Charts are taken out scanned and checked I sigh.  They say that a meeting will be held early on Friday morning at 9 am.  They walk away no worries.  I am sinking, falling apart,  hands are shaking.  I see my Rose still and quite sleep; morphine to numb a pain I will never know.  Fast forward and cut moments fly by again I am caught looking out that window   again dark cloud.  They foreshadow days a head  the story of Heathclif and Catherine on La Grange.  It comforts me to  know books my solace.  The release of the imagination.  I drift in and out of my classic literature and the phone rings.  The voice on the end of the line is a woman aged with care; thought jovial in perception.   She asked for medical insurance numbers, name and address.  I willingly supply all of them.  I ask. Why do you require such information?  She told me it’s for radiation treatment……Cancer she exclaims.  “I let the cat out of the bag!”  I keep calm and cool and ask her for what kind?????  Melanoma with hesitation in her voice. I feel as though I was Pandora and hope escapes me….. I can’t shut that box.

Lisa Rose has just turned 4 on March 3rd…..  Some people get cake on their birthdays ,but she got cancer……….  

 

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